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Jordan Heron - The Vanity Card Series

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My hobbies are not exactly normal, and they fill all of my time. Well, all of the time I have when I am not making a living. The last thing I need is another thing to pass the time (while spending money on it).

So I'm off to take my restricted firearms course this weekend. I need to do this, in case I pick up a new hobby - Single Action Shooting. This is, in essence, target shooting for wannabe cowboys. You can do it on the ground, with real ammunition, shooting at targets. You can do it mounted, with only blackpowder (no "bullets") popping ballons as you ride by. Both sound fascinating to me. It will cost a few thousand to set myself up with weapons and costumes. (Yes, you can't shoot like a cowboy unless you dress like a cowboy.)

If this isn't bad enough, a week ago I was at an "adventure" event. I was, in fact, one of the attractions - part of the joust troupe. But in our spare time we wandered around, and found these kids bouncing on trampolines while attached to bungee cords, so that even the most physically inept child could do flips. That appeals to me - bounding around doing gymnastics without the prerequisite of having any skill. And my second thought when I saw it (the first being "Hey - Fun!") was "I can build that!" And I can.

And then, if that wasn't bad enough, we felt an obligation to entertain one of the visiting jousters. Not much of an "obligation" when you like the person and are showing them (and yourselves) a good time. But one of the chosen activities was zip-lining. Cool trick, for someone who is "not comfortable" with heights. But it was fun. A lot of fun. And, once again, my second thought was "I can build that!" And I can. I have a forest at the back of my property. Trees - eagerly waiting for me to string aircraft cable between them.

I cannot manage these hobbies. There is too much. And I feel a need to do all of it.

I have a vision of death. For me, heaven will be a lounge chair with a TV and only one station, and an endless rum and coke. No decisions - nothing to do but sit and relax.

Hell will be full of endless fun things to do. It will drive me insane.

22 June 2011

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