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Jordan Heron - The Vanity Card Series

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#003 - I AM NOT CHUCK, OR TIM

So why am I writing vanity cards?

Well, it's the fault of Tim and Chuck. (May I call you Chuck?)

Tim (who's friendship, given what I've done to him, astounds me) occassionally sends me internet links to things that amuse him and that he thinks might amuse me. Very recently, Tim sent me a link to the Vanity Card website of Chuck Lorre, television writer and producer of some note. I consider him "of some note" because I'm not really a big TV fan, but I still knew who he was. So, over the next two days, I read all of his vanity cards. All 250 or so of them.

I found Mr. Lorre to be something of a kindred spirit. Ok, maybe I'm overstepping my bounds here, given that he doesn't know me from a hole in the ground. And I would probably pass him in the street and think "who's that?" But here it is:

We are of a similar age. We have a similar number of failed relationships. And from what I read in those vanity cards, we have a similar outlook on life.

So I start thinking. (Never a good thing.) I've never started a blog or live-journal. FaceBook is the only "social networking" site I belong to, and I don't spend a lot of time there. (Although I'm astounded at how many people comment on my status updates. Leads me to believe I have acquaintances who need more interesting lives of their own.) But vanity cards, there's something I could get into.

It's not interactive. I don't have to read other peoples views on it. It's just me. It's just a comment, an opinion, perhaps a rant, occassionally a diatribe. And those things, I have been told, I am good at.

So I don't think I need to have a TV show to have vanity cards. True, that means I don't have millions of readers for my cards. True, I can't measure my following with a Neilson box. But so what? It's about "me", not about the people reading (which would be "you".)

So here we are. That's what I'm doing, and that's why. Putting my views and comments out on the internet. Just because I can.

Personal note to Mr. Lorre:

I've never seen "Dharma and Greg" or "Cybill". However, I think "Two and a Half Men" is one of the funniest thing I've ever watched, although I'm very partial to the other gender, and if I'd written it, it would have been "Two and a Half Women", starring Cher as Charlie's character, Sandra Bullock as Jon's character, and Dakota Fanning as Angus' half. It wouldn't have done nearly as well in the ratings as your show.

26 August 2009

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