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Jordan Heron - The Vanity Card Series

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It's a real trial, being near-perfect and not being in charge of everything.

Some things in life are a mystery, and they should remain so. But they are few. Most things are obvious. Obvious to me, anyway. They should be equally obvious to everyone else. But, sadly, they seem not to be. And those other people, the people have who do have a say in problems big and small, they don't listen to me. So far as I know.

Minor disputes between people. Major disputes between huge nuclear-capable nations. I have opinions and solutions for pretty much everything. It's because I'm smart and decisive. Not that other people aren't smart and decisive. But the world seems to get in their way, as much as it gets in mine.

Middle east peace crisis? No problem. World hunger? Piece of cake. Although probably rice cake, not a really good German chocolate cake, like I'd prefer. The neighbours dog that keeps rumaging through my trash? I have answers to all of these and more. (I'll give you a hint - one of the above answers involves a shotgun shell full of rocksalt.) If I just had the authority to enforce my opinions on the world, all would be good and sane.

But it is not to be. The world is not a benevolant dictatorship, and if it were, I doubt my application for dictator would be accepted. Something about no previous experience. (How are benevolent dictators supposed to get their start anyway?)

To my fellow perfect people, we must sit back, breathe deeply, and be content that we cannot run absolutely everything, even though we know how. Well, at least I do. You probably run a close second...

15 September 2010

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