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Jordan Heron - The Vanity Card Series

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Extreme mental and emotional fatigue.

After having bounced from Ontario to Belgium to France to British Columbia (I know, that's a province, not a country) and back again, the culture shock, not to mention the time zones, are getting to me.

I'd like to write something at least marginally relevant, but I can't. I'm too tired.

I'm thrilled to be home. But I find familiarity is now a double-edged sword. Or lance tip. The joy at seeing my partner again - almost like rekindling the relationship. My own horses grazing in my back yard. The comfort of my home and my own bed. And a clean change of my own favourite clothing, not limited by how much I was able to cram into my luggage weight restrictions alongside the 100 lbs of armour.

And then the other side. The problems, both at work and at home, that somehow didn't go away when I did. They waited for me to come back. The same little things that annoyed me before, even though I swore it would be different when I returned.

You see - three weeks away from a partner tells you one of two things:

  • Either you're good with it, and you may as well call the relationship done.
  • Or you realize that if this is what three weeks away from her is like, you better not screw things up again, because you just can't contemplate forever away from her.
I fall into the latter category. Quite firmly. But the little issues that dogged me before are still there. And I KNOW they should not matter, but they DO.

I am so glad to be home. And glad to have the opportunity to work even harder to ensure that I never spend that much time away from her again...

21 July 2010

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