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Jordan Heron - The Vanity Card Series

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#021 - THE RESOLUTIONS, 2010

I'm going to make exactly the same resolutions that every well-intentioned middle-aged white guy in North America will make this year.

    I resolve to:
  • Lose some weight. After the awesome 7-day cruise, on which I only gained 4 pounds, I weigh 185.5 lbs. I figure that's at least 15.5 too much. By the end of the year, I will be down to 175. Maybe lower. I don't want to set the goal too low. On the rare off-chance that I happen to exercise, I'm conscious that muscle weighs more than fat.
  • Eat a little better. But not a lot better. This one goes along with the above, but is in competition with it. Yes, I would like to improve my eating habits some - but I love food, very specific and bad for you food, and I refuse to spend the rest of my life in thrall to some organic health diet. This resolution will be the biggest challenge, in terms of balance. It can start with less soft drinks.
  • Clean up my finances. I'm not doing too badly, but spending seems to be just a little more than earning each year. I'd like to not only increase my net worth (which I did manage to do last year) but also to decrease unsecured debt. I wasn't doing too badly this year. Right up until we bought the new truck and horse trailer last month. Doh!
  • Be nicer to my partner. Things have been looking up - meaning that I've been less of a jerk. But things could still improve. A lot. And, although it would be nice if she participated, I can make a lot of the improvements on my own, just working on bettering my personal behaviour.
  • Be a little more conscientious at work. Can't really say anything more on this one without getting fired.
  • Get both my Nitrox and Dry Suit certifications through PADI. Unlike the above resolutions, these are quite specific and largely frivolous. They fall under the "why the hell not" category.
There - the resolutions are done.

Nothing earth shattering, of course, but if I succeed in all of them, I'll be a better looking and happier guy.

And that should please the people around me even more than it pleases me.

Besides, it beats the year when I resolved to open the car window each time I farted while driving with passengers. The resolution worked for the year, but it wasn't as well received as one might have expected.

Stay tuned a year from now, and I'll give an update...

30 December 2009

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